WE ONE
Funny Stuff
Remember?
We One recommends The Onion (www.theonion.com):
We One does not condone the use of mind-altering substances. They are unnecessary and can be dangerous. But, they are a reality in our world and We One is adamantly against the drug war as it is ineffective, fake, and sentences many non-violent humans to dangerous and unnecessary prison sentences - ruining more families and lives than most of the widely used mind-altering substances do. It is a plain, researched fact that the drugs bought in pharmacies, grocery stores, gas stations and bars are responsible for many, many, many, many times more deaths per year than illegal, non-taxed, commonly used substances. We One does not condone or recommend any mind-altering drug use, but it is time to wake up and non-criminalize most drugs, and better regulate many of the pharmaceutical ones. The over-diagnosis of ADD in elementary school children has produced an entire generation of drugs addicted humans. Also, childrens' minds are being negatively altered to less focused states through unhealthy foods, a toxic environment, and very fast-paced television and media which require very little sustained attention. We don't call them drug addicts because they use prescriptions or prescription drugs. The problem of course is large classrooms headed by overworked or under-intelligent, uncreative teachers who don't know how to help channel a child's focus on the positive things that he/she enjoys most or is most effective or natural at and thus will spend time effectively working on. This man Bill Hicks was a genius, and he was very funny.
The reincarnated? frog begging for his life or begging or just praying?
Funny because it's true.
This is actually an old "postulate" from 1920 with a few new changes. It is still hilarious, however:
Hell Freezes over test answer
The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so profound
that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which
is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today.Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct, leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a Divine Being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today.Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct, leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a Divine Being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".
